This is Part 5 of our Support Protocols for 14 Common Situations series. The cases described in this series are drawn from everyday scenarios found in general veterinary practice or emergency and specialty practices. Below you’ll find an example of a type of case you’re likely to encounter in practice. This blog’s subject is a case involving a client viewing a pet’s body after death has occurred.
Situation: Viewing A Pet’s Body
Your client Helen’s long-haired dachshund, Pixie, just died in emergency surgery. You’ve given Helen the news. By now, she’s calmed down a little from the initial shock and outpouring of grief. You know that she’ll be better able to grieve if she sees Pixie one last time. However, you also know that many clients are uncomfortable with the idea of seeing a pet’s body or even afraid.
“Helen,” you begin, “would you like to see Pixie’s body and say goodbye?” She replies, “Oh, no I couldn’t…No, I don’t want to see Pixie like this.” You say, “I know that the thought of seeing Pixie’s body is difficult, Helen, but I want to assure you that, in my experience, it usually helps people to see their pet and to have a chance to say goodbye.”
Helen looks around the room, lost in thought. “Maybe I do want to see Pixie. It’s just that the thought of it makes me nervous. I’ve never seen a dead body before.”
Assessment: What’s Going On Here?
Death seems very foreign to many people in our modern society. Unlike our ancestors, we do not often have open caskets at funerals. The bulk of our population is in urban areas where people are not used to the idea of animals dying. Therefore, death can seem frightening. It is no wonder that Helen is nervous about seeing Pixie’s body. Many people say they would prefer to keep only the happy memories of their pet when he or she was alive and that they do not wish to see the pet after it has died.
This choice can be a problem, however. There is a strong correlation between viewing a beloved pet’s body and the progression of normal, healthy grief. Grief experts agree that seeing a body helps people accept the reality of death. It allows pet owners to say a heartfelt goodbye to their pet. Sometimes clients or other family members who were not present when a pet died do wish to view the animal’s body before it is buried or cremated. This can be an emotionally healthy choice. If clients are hesitant, you can educate them about the benefits and offer this option again.
Create a Comforting Viewing Experience
If a pet’s body is going to be viewed after death, take time to prepare it so your clients will be comforted by the image they see. This means washing the pet’s fur if it has been soiled, tucking the pet’s tongue back into the mouth, and positioning or covering the body so the pet looks natural and at peace. Once you’ve prepared the pet’s body, clients also can be prepared regarding how they may want to interact with the body. For instance, they can be encouraged to touch, hug, and even hold their pet.
Preparing the Client
In the example above, once Helen decides to see Pixie, the veterinary team member could say, “Now, before we go to Pixie, let me prepare you a bit for what you’ll see and be able to do. When you see Pixie, her body will still be warm and her eyes will be open. Pixie is covered with a blanket from her head down. You may remove it if you want to see her entire body. As you remember, there are stitches on Pixie’s abdomen where we made the incision during surgery.
“It’s all right for you to touch Pixie, to pet her, and even hold her if you want to. Even though we’ve done our best to clean her, her body may still be slightly soiled due to the release of her bowel and bladder. This is a brush and a scissors in the room if you want to groom her or clip some of her fur to take with you. And if you want it, we can make a clay print of her paw for you to take home with you.”
Also be sure to ask your clients if they want you to be present during the viewing. Some will want company, whereas others will want to have a few minutes alone.
Plan: Support Protocol for What to Say and Do
Lay the Foundation (Step 1)
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Prepare the room.
Prepare a private room so clients can spend some time saying goodbye to their pets. If your clinic has a Client Comfort Room, this is an ideal environment for this activity. If clients are able to sit on the floor, place a large pad or blanket on the floor. Then, place the pet’s body on top of it so clients can be as near to their pets as possible. Some clients are not able to sit on the floor. If so, prepare an exam table with a soft blanket or small pad. Place a chair nearby so clients can sit near their pet if they wish to spend some time.
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Prepare the body.
Before a client is allowed to view the pet’s body, clean the body of any blood or waste material. Then, position the body in a pleasing way for the client to see. The body should be curled slightly, with the head and limbs tucked into a sleeplike position. This is most easily accomplished by placing the body into a container of sort. Place a fleece blanket or soft pad within the container. Cover the body from the neck down. Leave the face and head exposed so the client can see and talk to the pet.
- Positioning a body is especially important if it is to be placed into a casket or other container for burial or transport at a later time, or if you are keeping the animal’s body in a cooler until other family members can view it or pick it up. If animals, particularly large dogs, are allowed to stiffen without being curled into a sleeplike position, placing them in a casket or even on the backseat of a car is nearby impossible. For this reason, it’s a good idea to keep a box, a vinyl casket, or another container at your clinic for viewing and storage purposes.
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Implement Support Techniques (Step 2)
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Acknowledge and normalize the client’s anxiety.
You may say, “I know that the thought of seeing Pixie’s body is difficult.” This may also be the time to provide brief education about the benefits of seeing a loved one’s body. You might say, “Helen, in my experience, it can be comforting, in the long run, if you say goodbye and see for yourself, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Pixie has died. It’s always your choice but many of my clients find they have regrets later if they don’t take a final moment to be with their pet.”
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Don’t assume that a client would like time alone with a pet unless the client agrees to it.
(Never lead a client into the room where the pet’s body is without asking and then preparing the client.) Once the client seems comfortable viewing and touching the body, ask again if they would like some time alone.
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Give the client permission to touch, hold, and talk to their pet.
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Lead the way to the examination room or visitation site.
Some clients may wish to have some time alone. If so, leave the room and tell the client how soon you plan to return. If the client asks you to accompany them during the viewing of the body, make the first move toward touching, petting and talking to the animal. This is a prime time to act as a role model for the client so they will have a better idea of what to do. You may have to reiterate your verbal permission for the client to touch or hold the pet (depending upon the condition of the pet’s body). Holding a pet’s body after death is not abnormal or morose. You should offer this choice to your clients whenever possible. In fact, grief experts who work with parents whose child has died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome encourage the parents to hold, rock, and even sing to the baby before the baby’s body is taken away. These final acts of love can be extremely helpful with the grief process to follow.
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Offer to make keepsakes or memorial items.
If your clinic makes clay pawprints or other keepsakes for clients, ask the client if he or she would like to help you make one. This activity can provide a welcome focus for the visit and create a much-appreciated link to the pet. It may also create a positive connection to you and your clinic after your client goes home.
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Reassure their pet will be cared for with respect after they leave.
If the client is not taking the pet’s body with them after viewing it, you or another staff member should stay with the animal’s body at the viewing site. Often owners will take one last look back at the pet before actually leaving. When they see a familiar face next to the pet, they feel reassured that their companion animal’s body will not be forgotten or treated with disrespect once they leave.
Stay Connected through Follow-up Care (Step 3)
- When clients have been well prepared to view a pet’s body and have been given the time to say a private, personal goodbye, they will almost always thank you. Even though anticipating a viewing often creates anxiety, the actual viewing of a body usually provides relief. Creating the opportunity to view a beloved pet’s body and offering clients the choice to do so is an extremely effective way to provide grief support.
- Send a condolence card or follow-up letter that arrives within a few days. Make a phone call to the client within 24 hours to answer any questions or provide further assistance, if needed. These are important and very meaningful gestures in ay grief situation.
Viewing A Pet’s Body Preparatory Role-Play Ideas
- For hospital managers and client care specialists: Practice the above scenario and talk with the hypothetical client Helen about what it might be like to view Pixie’s body. Discuss reasons why this might be helpful and then accompany Helen into the viewing room. Practice offering support while Helen holds Pixie. Be sure you have prepared the body for viewing prior to Helen’s visit. Does your clinic keep appropriate containers on hand to accommodate this?
- For veterinary technicians: Using the above situation, practice attending, paraphrasing, and active listening while you support Helen’s grief and address her questions and anxieties. Practice asking Helen if she would like to help you make a clay pawprint or other keepsake of her pet. Then practice making that memento with her.
- For veterinarians: Practice the scenario above, providing the necessary education and support. Additionally, have a detailed discussion with the entire staff about the physical as well as emotional logistics involved when a pet owner wishes to view a body. Talk about all the specifics that may be involved, such as cleaning up blood, suturing wounds, brushing the pet’s hair, using blankets, and so on. (This discussion can also be coordinated by the hospital manager.)
Keep up the good work,
Laurel Lagoni
Co-Founder
World by the Tail, Inc.