Over three quarters of children in the United States live with pets. According to the Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine, children are more likely to live with a pet than live with their biological father or a sibling. Furthermore, many studies show the benefits pet ownership has on kids. Pets can help reduce stress and help develop social and emotional skills. The bond between a child and a pet is sometimes the first strong bond they establish aside from their parents.
As a parent myself, I have been lucky enough to see the bond between a child and pet. My son Kash and senior dog Nova bonded immediately. They were inseparable. It was like he was born with a built-in best friend – it was great! I feel honored to have been able to watch their bond develop.
But as we know, with strong bonds come hard losses. In 2021, when Kash was 2 years old, we had to have Nova humanely euthanized due to her health. We had always told Kash “Nova is the rainbow” when referring to her death. Now fast forward to 2023 and Kash is almost 4 years old. He recently asked me “Is Nova coming home?”. At that moment I realized how much we had glossed over her death. While trying to shield him from sadness, I was taking away the truth he deserved. We, of course, then had the honest talk he needed.
Although difficult, honesty around death is the most caring thing we parents can do for our kids.
Providing support for kids and grief
Often times the loss of a pet is a child’s first experience of loss. Because of this, parents can often feel unprepared, especially when dealing with grief themselves. Since you have built a trusted relationship with your clients, they often look to you for support. By having resources that support kids and grief, your bond centered practice is honoring the youngest human-animal bond relationship.
However, it can be challenging to find resources that are age appropriate and relatable for kids. Our own, Debby Morehead, authored A Special Place for Charlee. A Special Place for Charlee is a children’s book that focuses on learning bad news and coping with loss. This is a relatable way kids and parents can communicate about loss and feelings that may come along with it.
We interviewed Debby to talk to her more about her book.
Interview with Debby Morehead, author of A Special Place for Charlee
Tell us a little about yourself.
I have lived in Colorado all my life and am a graduate of Colorado State University. I live in Loveland, Colorado with my husband Dave, and our dog Starling. We have two children and six grandchildren, and I love being a grandma!
In my professional life, I am the co-founder of World by the Tail, Inc. I have over 30 years of experience working in veterinary medicine and for many years helped my husband Dave, a small animal veterinarian, manage his veterinary practice.
I was the Associate Director of Development for the Colorado State University College of Veterinary Medicine and Biomedical Sciences (CVMBS) for ten years. While there, I coordinated major fundraising campaigns for CVMBS including the “Animals Battling Cancer” and “Paws for a Cause” national campaigns to raise awareness of cancer in companion animals. Prior to that I worked for many years for The American Animal Hospital Association (AAHA).
What compelled you to write A Special Place for Charlee?
My background in veterinary publications while at AAHA, and my realization that, in the 1990’s there were limited resources for children coping with the grief of a beloved pet, led me to author the children’s book, A Special Place for Charlee: a Child’s Companion Through Pet Loss. The book is a fictionalized account of the true story of my son Mark’s experience when we had to euthanize our family pet Charlee. His emotional journey coping with this loss taught me that every person (no matter their age) must cope with loss in their own way.
As a parent you want to shield and protect your child from pain and sadness, but it may not be helpful to make decisions for them on how they grieve. It is most important to just be there surrounding them in understanding and love. Being the wife of a veterinarian, I also wanted to provide a resource that highlights that small animal practice staff always want to provide support to their clients through the grief process.
What impact do you hope A Special Place for Charlee has made?
Writing A Special Place for Charlee is by far one of my most rewarding professional achievements. It brings me such a feeling of satisfaction that I could create a resource to help normalize the feelings of grief for kids. My goal is that “Charlee” gives veterinary staff a comforting resource to give their clients at a very sad time. In my husband’s practice, I have seen firsthand how the end stages of human-animal relationships affect both families and the practice staff. My heartfelt wish is that this book has provided comfort to any child who must experience this kind of stress and grief.
Thanks, Debby!
In addition to A Special Place for Charlee, our Kids and Grief Resource Page has many other resources dedicated to kids and grief that can be shared with your clients. You may also want to check out our Kids and Grief Educational Enclosure. We hope these resources allow you and your staff feel confident in providing support to your clients and their families.
Thanks for all you do,
Cassie McArdle
Customer Service
World by the Tail, Inc.