For some pet owners, it’s meaningful to have an object
that links them to a pet who has recently died. A
‘linking object’ is any physical item or image that
connects grievers to their pet in a comforting way.
Linking objects assist bereaved pet owners in
maintaining positive memories, as well as with awareness
that love received from a pet never really dies.
A ‘linking object’ may be something that belonged to or
was used by a pet, such as a collar, a toy mouse, a bed,
a special blanket, or even a food or water dish. The
object may also be part of the actual animal, such as a
feather, a clipping of fur, the wool of a llama, part of a
horse's mane or tail, or even a paw print set in clay.
As part of your clinic’s grief education protocol, it’s
helpful to tell your clients about the comfort they may
find in a linking object and to even provide that object
yourself. For instance, you might help clients clip a bit
of their pet’s fur immediately following a euthanasia or
make a ClayPaws® print when a patient dies.
When discussing linking objects with your clients, it’s
helpful to:
-
reassure clients that there is nothing ‘morbid’ about
keeping linking objects with them or in plain view
if they are comforted by them. Too often, pet
owners are advised to get rid of things that belonged
to their pets so they aren’t constantly reminded of
their loss. However, research and clinical
experience proves many clients receive tremendous
comfort from their "linking objects" and feel regret
when discarding reminders of their pets too quickly.
-
caution clients to choose linking objects that help
them deal with the reality of loss rather than helping
them “pretend” a loss has not occurred. This is why
body care options that allow pet owners to keep lifesize
replicas of their pets (freeze drying, taxidermy)
are not usually encouraged by grief experts.
If you decide to offer linking objects to your clients, be
aware that you may be occasionally asked for items you
question, like teeth, inner organs (a pet’s heart), or even
entire pelts or hides. It’s helpful to have a practice
philosophy regarding how (and if!) you wish to handle
these requests. For instance, you might decide to:
-
simply refuse “unusual” requests.
-
maintain a non-judgmental attitude and grant the
request despite your own personal response to it.
Note: You may consider charging an extra fee for any
additional surgical work or staff time required.
-
refer clients to other businesses like taxidermists
who may be willing to grant the request.
There is no right or wrong answer to dealing with
requests for unusual linking objects, but it does help to
be prepared with an answer! Whatever you decide,
sending clients home with a meaningful link to a
beloved pet who has just died can help ease their grief
and create a lasting bond with you and your clinic.
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